We have all heard about predictions. It is known that such work is carried out by people who are, to one degree or another, connected with various forces that are still incomprehensible and unknown to man. Predictions have been in demand always and everywhere, in all countries and in different eras. Of course, in the modern world, predictions play a huge role, since there are few people who do not want to look into the future. Even the most ardent skeptics sometimes secretly want to know what awaits them next in life. However, predictions are now acquiring not only a strict character, but also their humorous form. And therefore, more and more often you can find comic predictions.

Comic predictions - what are they?

How do cheerful predictions differ from their more strict form? Initially, it is important to note that such predictions can be voiced for different purposes. Many people get tired of reading boring and strict predictions for the day, month, year. I want to defuse the situation, read something funny, but instructive. And therefore, ordinary predictions sometimes turn into a comic form. It can be just humor, a cartoon, and sometimes there is real black humor. While reading funny predictions, you can have a good laugh and take note of a few warnings that will help you avoid various problems in the near future. In addition, when reading comic predictions, the harsh reality is easier to perceive, and it becomes easier to look at life. Whether to believe such predictions is, of course, up to each person. But it would be useful to take warnings into account.

Where are funny predictions used?

However, comic predictions do not always have a strict basis. They can also be used simply to lift your spirits. A person who adopts them is able to quickly become the life of the party and become known as an enviable joker. You can use them in the office at work, at a party with friends, in general, anywhere, the main thing is that they are appropriate. Naturally, such a prediction does not need to be taken on faith; it is intended only for entertainment. However, there are also frequent cases when even funny predictions, invented for laughter, came true. So even with them you should be careful. Also, cool and funny predictions are often used at holidays and celebrations. These could be birthdays, anniversaries, corporate and home holidays.

At what events are comic predictions most often used?

The first events where fun but instructive predictions originated were weddings. It's rare to see a wedding where guests don't dress up as gypsies on the second day. And what is a gypsy without predictions? In order to raise the festive spirit among those present and simply amuse passers-by, the gypsy in a comic form pronounces predictions to the bride and groom, and then to everyone present. Afterwards, funny predictions began to be used on other holidays. The hero of the day is always wished long life, health, and happiness. Everyone knows this and is accustomed to it. But a humorous prediction made at the height of the holiday, in which humor is mixed with wishes for happiness and longevity, can ignite it with renewed vigor, make guests laugh and please the hero of the day. Often funny predictions are used at children's parties. Of course, their shape should correspond to the children's theme.

Cool predictions form

Comic predictions are used in various forms. If they are pronounced during a feast or wedding, then it is more interesting to use a poetic form. Thus, at the same time, a prediction can become an excellent toast. Also, a fun prediction often becomes part of a game or entertainment. There are many table games in which you can playfully guess who a person was in a past life, of course, with the same comic result. If cool predictions are carried out at children's parties, then this usually creates a feeling of mystery. You can even hold a costume masquerade for a similar purpose. Children interested in a riddle always accept jokes with pleasure.

In general, comic predictions can be used anytime, anywhere. The main thing is that it is appropriate, otherwise the joke simply won’t work.

Comic predictions in verse in one line

1. The day was bright and bright, like a sweet gift.
2. A trip to the sea awaits you soon.
3. Let a tear of joy flow, soon your old friend will return!
4. Down with both anger and revenge, you will receive good news.
5. Wait for the sunset, wait for the dawn, wait for a sweet greeting.
6. Every day and every hour someone thinks about you.
7. Look ahead more cheerfully, wealth awaits you there.
8. Wait a little, the road is waiting for you.
9. Gingerbread and sweets, there will be a lot of joy.
10. Holidays and fun await you at the end of the week.
11. Suddenly you have a new friend.
12. Wait without crying, luck will come to you.
13. The sun is back and happiness is back - you will meet new love.
14. Expect success at work by next Saturday.
15. You will always have delicious food in your house.
16. Try to vacation in the Bahamas six times a year and then you will certainly, certainly, probably be lucky.
17. If you lie down naked on ice for a long time in winter, no harmful microbe will crawl into you.
18. Someone will be lucky again in the coming year, maybe you or a neighbor - you must always be prepared.
19. Changes await you at the beginning of January, prepare for them gradually - don’t waste your time.
20. Try to run carefully at night in icy conditions, and then you will quite possibly celebrate the New Year.

Funny predictions

1. When giving your beloved a bouquet of daisies, count all the petals. Must be: loves!
2. When expecting a bad event, do not twist the button: it will definitely come off.
3. You are lucky! Therefore, be more modest and do not grab more lucky tickets.
4. When crossing the road, look around - there is a chance of meeting your destiny.
5. Approach your boss with the right foot - and a promotion awaits you.
6. Always smile! And no one will call you a gloomy person. Keep quiet! And no one will call you a bore.
7. Your life is an endless road, so choose a reliable means of transportation along it - a car.
8. Today is the best day for you! As the others!
9. Buy a book that you don't like at all - and you will find the answers to all your questions.
10. During the first week after the New Year, a pleasant surprise awaits you.
11. When leaving the entrance of your house, turn your head to the right. The brand of the car standing there will soon appear in yours too.
12. If your neighbors knock on the battery today, then a fun and unforgettable New Year awaits you.
13. In the New Year you will win a million dollars, but then you will give it all to charity.
14. In the New Year, you will be able to get rid of your bad habit, but you will also acquire a couple of new ones.
15. In the New Year you will be given the most desired gift - a goldfish. True, it will be stuffed with rice and herbs.
16. In the New Year, you will learn and discover a lot of new and useful things, but now please open a bottle of champagne.
17. In the New Year, you will have the pleasure of spending a lot of money, as well as the pleasure of earning it.
18. In the New Year, you will get yourself a new pet, and give the old one to a nursing home.
19. If on June 1 you wear your clothes inside out, then many people of the opposite sex will pay attention to you. Maybe you will find love!
20. If you come across a foreign body in bread, know that this is good luck!

Astrological comic predictions

1. The stars are favorable to you. However, you should not catch them in a bowl of salad, otherwise the powerful influence of Mars may contribute to prophetic dreams under the table.
2. Venus in the second house foretells a hearty dinner with excesses and moderate physical activity on the dance floor.
3. Ritual dancing on the table is contraindicated for your zodiac sign, otherwise an unpleasant meeting in a government house is possible.
4. People of your sign are smiling, cheerful, talkative, funny... hey, dear, aren't you drinking too much champagne?
5. Abuse of shouts of “Happy New Year!” is fraught with throat diseases; "Happy New Year!" should be pronounced with just your lips, rolling your eyes meditatively.
6. The stars are not located in the best way: the knee, wrist, elbow and hip joints will be the most susceptible to rhythmic twitching.
7. Your patron planet Mercury foreshadows an unexpected turn of events after your toast to love.
9. From today you are under the auspices of the planet Venus, which will present you with new unexpected love.
10. This night the stars are positioned in the sky so that everything you have dreamed of getting for so long is shining for you.

New Year Wishes

1. Good luck, happiness, peace to you! You will have your own apartment!
2. I wish you to save the style! You will have a car!
3. Luck will not leave you! There will be a new dacha for you!
4. A toast to your health! There will be career growth for you!
5. I wish you good luck! A new addition to your family is waiting for you!
6. Surround you with comfort! And your income will increase!
7. Let success follow! You are the best to study!
8. There are many different impressions! On wonderful journeys!
9. Don't let worry bother you! A new job is waiting for you!
10. I wish you not to be bored in vain, There will be new friends!

Women's holiday March 8, as a rule, is celebrated several times: with colleagues and classmates, with relatives, with girlfriends and friends. And at any feast, especially if it takes place in close company, in addition to solemn congratulations, there is a place for jokes and anecdotes about the holiday, which will both amuse and give rise to discussion at the table.

Offered here table jokes and toasts for March 8, full of love and irony, kind and not so kind, lyrical and funny - choose those that are suitable for your company. This collection is collected from various sources (thanks to the authors) and everyone can find something of their own in it.

1. Comic alcoholic horoscope for ladies on March 8

And on horseback, in short, everything is ok!

And the pulse is faster, the sparkle in the gaze,

But it wouldn’t hurt to drink quickly.

And the stars for each lady are according to their sign,

In short, under which we were born,

They will give advice on what and how much to drip,

Madams don't get too drunk.

Aries

Depending on what time you start,

But cognac is still preferable,

Just pour a couple of drops into yourself,

The world will turn pink - just like that!

And everyone will seem surrounded by men

Pretty cute for you

And if the drink brought doubts into the soul,

Add beer, Aries - just right!

Taurus

Taurus should not be charming

For libations stronger than wine,

Of course, if it's trash, then it'll suit you,

Vodka and tequila - it's all the same.

As a last resort, you can Madeira,

A couple of glasses is enough

And you leave the rest to the gentlemen,

And everyone will understand that the truth is in wine!

Twins

Cutie Geminis will become happier,

If they allow themselves at the table,

Champagne, they won’t get tired until nightfall,

And they will have fun, and moreover,

Shampoo will add charm to you,

And it will add a little charm to Gemini,

But only in the morning - there will be a cry of despair,

Do you agree? Well, then we drink to the ladies.

Square bottles of Amaretto,

For Cancers, it will be cute for the eyes,

And to conquer men at the same time,

Stick out your little finger then.

And drink, Cancers, one sip at a time, knowing

That liquor quickly knocks you off your feet,

Don't lose the thread of the conversation,

Have a snack, in general, the stars know.

For Lionesses, of course, tequila,

She will allow you to be sweet,

And white teeth, plunging into the lemon,

Don't forget to shoot with your eyes.

And the whole world will submit to the Lionesses,

Tequila will allow you to turn around,

And ask him to buy kefir

Someone for you to move in the morning.

Virgo

Lagrima white port - now for Virgos

Ideal for drinking

Olives, meat for a snack, and you, boldly,

You will charm everyone instantly, high

Virgos will have self-esteem right there,

But you don't need to turn your nose up too much,

Port wine is port wine, but control is still needed.

And it is undesirable to drink cognac.

Scales

Libra for feelings of fullness,

Nowadays you can indulge in gin,

Not by the fact that it will fulfill all your dreams,

And alcoholic, with tonic.

You won’t feel anxious, don’t be afraid,

Just stock up on more snacks

And that’s it, calm down, relax on the 8th,

Have fun, in general, hang out.

Scorpion

And Scorpios will prefer beer,

Of course, not the Baltic Nine,

And Guinness, for example, or Ale will be brought in,

Give you some mystery and it will become sweet

Today is life for gentle Scorpios,

And your laughter will become mischievous after beer,

Eat your fish casually,

A complex problem will turn out to be simple.

Sagittarius

Chablis Grand Cru - great for Sagittarius

A little expensive, but...

Any man is ready for this,

Anything will happen, nothing

He won’t feel sorry for Sagittarius,

Drop a little bit into his glass,

And after dinner, good luck on your plate,

Everything will be great for you, in general, let's go!

Capricorn

And Capricorns will stop now,

Beat yourself up and cry about fate,

And so that your determination does not become less,

You order some vodka for yourself.

Yes, mix well with the juice,

Tomato or orange will do,

Fry the meat and don’t skimp on the mustard,

If you like it - the horoscope doesn’t lie!

Aquarius

Marsala is suitable for Aquarius,

One bottle is enough

Well, if you think it's not enough,

Let me try some vodka already,

But just give me a sandwich with sausage.

And if you are not afraid for your gait,

Then drink boldly, Aquarians, here you go!

Fish

Strike or Jaguar, Pisces should avoid

Beer, for starters,

But don't drink vodka.

The best option would be

Cahors, a couple of bottles for you,

Chocolate, meat on a platter,

Give the Fishes a hard time!

(Source: novyy-god.ru)

2. Toast - monologue for March 8 "Let's be women!"

Recently an interesting thought occurred to me: what if men had the same psyche as women? On the one hand, they would be morally stronger than they are now, perhaps even the number of men drinking would be reduced. On the other hand... Will we be ready to endure their whims? “I want it,” the men would constantly whine and burst into tears for a new fur coat. Although no, for the sake of a new fishing rod, for example. They would freeze at store windows and, turning to you, bat their eyelashes and, smiling, say: “Honey, I have always dreamed of such a ring (a suit, a shirt, a boat, finally). Are you going to give this to me?” And there would be nothing left to do but buy this thing. Men would make eyes and wait for that pretty blonde to come up. They would flinch and cuddle up to women while watching a horror movie together - and this is with male dimensions! Just imagine how they would drive a car! It’s good if you don’t close your eyes in front of oncoming traffic. We would have fun, to be sure! In the meantime, men don’t have the female psyche, let’s get “stuck” in front of stores, crying because you’ve had a fur coat for two years now. Be afraid of everything you can. Let's be women!

3. Table joke "To lovely women..."

Wishes for lovely ladies today,

A flurry of compliments, an ocean of attention,

Clear smiles, boundless love,

Different gifts, different gifts

Various gifts, tender words.

Songs and bouquets for ladies today

Chains, rings, sweets, cosmetics...

Men run around and smile

And dear women, and dear women,

And nice women like him for it.

Men are all so attentive on our holiday,

Prudent and obligatory

And everyone is so polite and tries so hard!

And dear women, and dear women,

And nice women like it all.

Spring has come and the sun is shining brightly,

And the most wonderful time of the year.

Everyone is smiling, everyone is in the mood

And dear women, and dear women,

And congratulations are sent to lovely women.

Oh, if only a miracle of miracles happened

And this happiness was repeated tomorrow!

May it remain like this forever:

Men run, men run,

Men run to please us.

4. .

One day the February Cat was cooking compote in the kitchen,
When suddenly the unshaven but affectionate March Cat showed up.
He brought a bottle of valerian and a piece of fresh mouse
The Cat melted when she heard his inviting voice.
She warmed up the newcomer, poured milk for the “stopar”,
And throwing off her striped robe, she gave away all her girlish passion.
This unexpected caress made our cat slightly stunned,
He rolled his gray eyes, straightened his mustache and began to sing.
And the Cat? Having powdered her nose a little, she briskly left the bed,
She sat down with the “cat” on the roof and began to sing along with him.
A bouquet of edible aromas has already reached from the kitchens,
But for a long time the spring cat duet was heard.

Since then, on this day, dear ladies of all shades and stripes
Men bring gifts all over our planet, all over.
Why is this verse incompetent? Any idiot can guess
That the best gift for the Holiday is the March Cat.

(Source: forum.ffclub.ru)

5. “How does a wife keep her husband?"

GERMAN - food;

ENGLISH - by upbringing;

CZECH - by power;

SPANISH - passion;

KUBINKA - dancing;

POLKA - affection;

CHINESE WOMAN - flattery;

MEXICAN - revenge;

ITALIAN - singing;

GRUSINKA - patience;

GREEK - beauty;

ARMENIAN - fullness;

FRENCH WOMAN - body;

AMERICAN - by deed;

RUSSIAN - love!

For RUSSIAN women!

6.

"Let there be a holiday for two!"

Waking up in the morning after drinking,

He glanced at the calendar:
It's time to think about gifts
Look - February will end
Coming up with ideas is not a matter of moment...
Why not buy, say, a cake?
Or maybe looking for a present
Should I go to Yuvelirtorg first?
Diamonds sparkle
A golden chain flows...
Diamonds? For my infection?
Eighth of March? Holy shit...
Or maybe some kind of handbag...
That one with the De&Ge emblem...
How much...? HOW MANY??? Am I freaking out???
Well, the prices... wow.
I've been shopping for a week
Rocher, Lancome and L'Etoile,
Spent half a day on paintings,
Scratching the back of my head at the crystal
I looked at the manicure set
With a strange name "Solingen"
I noticed the openwork handkerchief
Not that... not that... not that at all.
Then I thought about tights
And not deciding on them either
I bought it for her
FIVE BOTTLES OF VODKA!
Let there be a holiday for two!!!

(Source: anekdotikov.net)

7. "Goddesses are bitches"

God gave us beauty... and the devil - intelligence... We don’t need to be carried in our arms... we will sit on your neck... and you don’t need to kiss the ground on which we walked... and if you really want it, then stand in line... With us no delusions of grandeur...great people don’t suffer from this...We are not selfish...we just didn’t care about the opinions of others...We don’t need compliments...we already know about our perfection...We never argue.. .,because we are always right anyway...We are not vindictive...we are just bitches and we have a good memory...We are not aggressive...just cute fluffy cats sharpening their nails...We are not jealous...because there is no one to be jealous of... After all, we are goddesses or just... girls!

(Source: arbuziki-tut.ru)

8. “What a woman really needs...”

What a Woman Really Needs

We more or less seem to know!
And everything that you would like to wish for yourself -
This is exactly what we wish for you!
Good luck in job! The weather is pleasant!
Love - pure, tender and repeated!
Children of different sexes! The coat fits your figure!
Neighbors in the compartment - they don’t drink or smoke!
Silky hair! Snow-white teeth!
Husbands - wealthy! Sponsors - gentle!
Lovers - smart! Spouses are in law!
Mothers-in-law - living in another region!
Submissive daughters-in-law! Dishes - washed!
Husbands who don't snore and are shaved at night!
Colleagues - not fixated only on women!
Enemies - weak! Enemies - very weak!
Lunch to bed! Impressions - polar!
And... these... well... in general, that... regular ones!
Stocking - no puffs! Not a day without a new thing!
Husbands are on a very long business trip!
Love - burning, like in the series!
Five series - on each channel!
Romanov - resort! The impulses are crazy!
Neighbors both below and above - silent!
A trip - not to the garden, but to the sea!
Pie - delicious, but without calories!
The cars are foreign, but the steering wheel is on the left!
Perfume - from Dior! Flowers - daily!
Intentions - different, but better than serious ones!
Housing - five-room and five-star!
A well-deserved vacation - on the beaches and waves!
Trolleybuses - on time and incomplete!
Tickets on buses - only happy ones!
Friends - not boring ones! Friends - not jealous!
Husbands - wealthy! (As the saying goes,
If you really want it, it’s not a sin to repeat yourself!)
Love - so that it ignites like gunpowder!
(When it's important, don't mind repetitions)
Washing machines, vacuum cleaners, combines -
Both functional and stylish designs.
Passions - exhausting! Difficulties - brief!
Diamonds - no less than 40 carats!
Plumbers - imported! Childbirth - without pain!
No problems! Chiffoniers - without moths!
And... it seems... we forgot something else...
Oh ok! Love!!!
And sideboards - without dust!!!
And the dream of becoming a great artist will come true!!!
And Women's Day - at least 300 times a year!!!

Target: develop a sense of beauty in children, instill in them love and respect for the female sex, strengthen the relationship between generations and emphasize the role of women in our lives. Create a warm climate between children and mothers;
Help children express themselves creatively.

The progress of the holiday.

Leading: It smelled like March and spring,

But winter holds fast.

Number eight is not a prime number:

The holiday is coming to our homes.

March 8
(A. Berestov)
March 8 is Mother's Day.
Knock-knock - knocking on our doors.
He only comes to that house,
Where they help mom.
We'll sweep the floor for mom,
We'll set the table ourselves.
Let's help her cook dinner,
We will sing and dance with her.

On this wonderful day, dear mothers and grandmothers, children want to tell you a lot of kind, warm, affectionate words. And music and poetry will help them in this.

On this day we hasten to congratulate

Dear mothers, such relatives,

Good wise grandmothers,

Naughty classmates!

Spring begins;

Women's Day celebrates

Our glorious country.

Our dear mothers,

There is no one dearer to your heart!

Our warmest greetings!

(children sing a song about mom)

Student: Mom, very, very

I love you!

I love you so much that at night

I don't sleep in the dark.

I peer into the darkness

I'm hurrying Zorka,

I love you all the time

Mommy, I love you!

So the dawn is shining,

It's already dawn.

No one in the world

There is no better mother!

There is such a day in March,

With a number, like a pretzel,

How many of you guys know

What does the number mean?

All: We will all tell you in unison:

“This is the holiday of our mothers!”

Spring day, not frosty,

A cheerful and mimosa day -

All: Mother's Day!

Cloudless day, not snowy,

An excited and tender day -

Everyone: Mother's Day!

4. The day is spacious, not capricious,

Gift day, surprise -

All: Mother's Day!

Leading: Guys, your mothers have prepared a surprise for you. “Riddles” are waiting for you

Mothers take turns asking riddles.

The word hid somewhere

The Word is hidden and waiting.

Let them find me, guys.

Well, who will find me?

Our hands were covered in soap

We washed the dishes ourselves.

We washed the dishes ourselves -

Helped our.. (mother)

For Katya's birthday

Mom sewed Katya...(dress)

I went to the skating rink in the morning

My younger ..... (sister).

We plant flowers in the garden,

We water them from a watering can.

Asters, lilies, tulips

Let them grow for our... (mother)

Mom, dad, brother and me -

That's my whole... (family)

Leading: Thank you, dear mothers, for interesting riddles.

On March 8th, we congratulate not only our mothers, but also the oldest women in the house - grandmothers. We say thank you to them for the kindness, affection, care, attention, love that they give to their grandchildren. I know that you all love your grandmothers. If you are happy, they rejoice with you, and if you are sad, the grandmothers will calm and console you. Sometimes your parents don't know about you what your grandmothers know. And what golden hands they have! There are so many things they can do! Listen to the advice of grandmothers, help them in everything!

Take care of them!

Student: Mom has work, dad has work!

They still have Saturday for me,

And grandmothers are always at home,

She never scolds me!

He will sit you down and feed you:

“Don’t rush!

What happened to you?

Tell!"

I speak, but grandma doesn’t interrupt,

He sorts out the buckwheat grain by grain.

We feel good - just the two of us.

What would a house be without a grandmother?

My grandmother
Very my grandmother -
I love my mother's mother.
She has a lot of wrinkles
And on the forehead there is a gray strand,
I just want to touch it,
And then kiss.
Maybe I am like that too
I'll be old, gray-haired,
I will have grandchildren
And then, putting on glasses,
I’ll tie gloves for one,
And for the other - shoes.

Sketch "Three Mothers"
Leading:
Our children are so stubborn!
Everyone knows this themselves.
Mothers often tell them,
But they don't hear their mothers.
Tanyusha in the evening
I came from a walk
And the doll asked:
Tanya enters, approaches the table and sits down on a chair, taking the doll in her arms.
Tanya:
How are you, daughter?
Have you crawled under the table again, fidget?
Did you sit all day without lunch again?
These daughters are just a disaster,

Go to lunch, spinner!
Cheesecake for lunch today!

Leading:
Tanya's mom came home from work
And Tanya asked:

Mom comes in and sits on a chair near Tanya.

Mother:
How are you, daughter?
Playing again, probably in the garden?
Have you managed to forget about food again?
Granny screamed for dinner more than once,
And you answered: now and now.
These daughters are just a disaster,
Soon you will be as thin as a matchstick.
Go have lunch, spinner!
Cheesecake for lunch today!

Leading:
Here grandmother - mother's mother - came
And I asked my mother:
The grandmother enters with a wand, approaches the table and sits on the third chair.
Grandmother:
How are you, daughter?
Probably in the hospital for a whole day
Again there was not a minute to eat,
And in the evening I ate a dry sandwich.
You can't sit all day without lunch.
She’s already become a doctor, but she’s still restless.
These daughters are just a disaster.
Soon you will be as thin as a matchstick.
Go to lunch, spinner!
Cheesecake for lunch today!

Everyone eats cheesecakes.

Leading:
Three mothers are sitting in the dining room,
Three mothers look at their daughters.
What to do with stubborn daughters?

All three: Oh, how difficult it is to be a mother!

Leading:- What a gift for mothers and grandmothers?

Will we give on Women's Day?

There is a lot for this

Fantastic ideas.

After all, prepare a surprise for them -

It is very interesting.

Usually on this holiday, mothers and grandmothers are given a day off. Who will do all the housework that day? (children's answers) Can you do it?

So we will check how the guys can do housework.

Let the boys and girls

All the naughty kids

Today they will say loudly and loudly:

"Welcome, game!" ( two teams are selected)

Conducting competitions and relay races.

Flowers are considered the best gift on this day. That is why

Our teams have one task:

Here are the flowers, and here is the paper.

And now you need to compose

You need a picture so that it

A wonderful gift

To your grandmothers and mothers

Could have become.

Relay race “Make a bouquet”.

Teams line up in a column. In front of each of them, on a chair, there are parts of the future bouquet cut out of paper: flowers, stems, a vase. The first participant runs to a chair (or table), takes one part and runs to the board, attaches it to the board with a magnet. Then he returns to his team and passes the baton to the next participant.

“Guess the flower” (for moms)

The Latin name of this flower "galactus" comes from the Greek words "gala" (milk) and "actus" (flower), that is, a milky white flower. Legend has it that when Adam and Eve were expelled from paradise, it was snowing heavily and Eve was cold. Then, in order to somehow calm her down and warm her, several snowflakes turned into flowers. Therefore, this flower symbolizes hope. What is it called? (Snowdrop).

This is a sweet, charming flower: it looks at us like trusting children's eyes. According to folk legend, this flower grows where a star falls from the sky. It is usually accompanied by the epithets "modest". "field". It is difficult to do without it when weaving a wreath or collecting a bouquet of wildflowers. This flower also has other names: nivyanitsa, popovnik, ramonok. What is the name of this flower? (Chamomile).

According to one legend, Hercules mortally wounded the ruler of the underworld, Pluto. And the young doctor healed the ruler’s wounds with the roots of this plant, which was later named after the doctor. This flower is considered the king of flowers and a symbol of longevity. What is it called? (Peony).

2. Competition “Collect toys”.

2-3 people per team participate in the competition. They must clean up the house: in one minute, blindfolded, remove the toys scattered on the floor. Music plays and a competition is held. The winner is the one who collects the most toys in the specified time.

3. “Cleaning” competition.

Here's a new task

For home craftsmen.

We boldly get down to business

We'll collect the trash quickly.

Each team is given a balloon and a broom. The first participant in the relay rolls the ball with a broom to the indicated mark and back, passes the baton to the next participant, etc.

4. Competition “Cooking Porridge”

The presenter names the ingredients from which the porridge needs to be prepared. If the children agree, they answer “yes” and clap their hands. And if they don’t agree, they say “no” in unison and stamp their feet.

The white-sided magpie is planning

Cook porridge.

Cook porridge and feed the children.

Gonna go to the market

Yes, I thought about it.

What should I buy her?

To cook porridge.

Feed your kids?

1 team: New milk? (“Yes.” Let’s clap)

Egg? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

Pickle? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

Jellied meat? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

Sugar and salt? (“Yes.” Let’s clap)

White beans? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

Ghee butter? (“Yes.” Let’s clap)

Salted fish? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

2 teams: Bay leaf? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

Chinese rice? (“Yes.” Let’s clap)

Prunes and raisins? (“Yes.” Let’s clap)

Chocolate delight? (“Yes.” Let’s clap)

Bulgarian pepper? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

Tartar sauce? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

Strawberry jam? (“Yes.” Let’s clap)

Biscuit cookies? (“No.” Let’s stomp)

(for teams, the lines of the poem are read one by one, the number of correctly performed actions is taken into account)

Leading: Well done boys! The porridge turned out good!

Cooking quiz. (for moms)
1. The signature dish of magpies is thiefs (porridge).
2. Zucchini delicacy (caviar).
3. Soft-boiled potatoes (mashed).
4. Maxi-cake (cake).
5. What is left of the jam when all the berries (syrup) have been eaten from it.
6. A bakery product that can be steered (steering wheel).
7. The product that the crow was going to have for breakfast (cheese).
8. A dish prepared with the participation of a cow and chicken (omelet).
9. Fruit kefir in our opinion (yogurt).
10 Bagel - undersized (drying).
11. A bird that got into the soup for its thoughts (turkey).
12.The name of the porridge that Deniska Korablev poured out the window (semolina).
13. What did Buratino eat in the tavern, having paid for himself, the cat and the golden fox? (crust of bread).
14. Which note is not needed for compote? (salt

5 competition “Help Grandma.”

In front of each team there are boxes with scraps of yarn 15–20 cm long. The teams must connect them into one thread. The winner is the team that knits the longest thread in 1 minute.

6th competition “Dress up your little sister.”

In front of each team there is a little sister doll on the table; within a certain time you need to dress the doll and then undress it.

A game " Comic fortune predictions " (for moms)

- You will find out what awaits you this year. Please give me a ticket .

1. Button – this year your wardrobe will be updated.

2.Flower - this year you will become even more beautiful and sweeter.

3.Candy - a sweet life awaits you this year.

4.Kopek – this year you will be a very money person.

5. Bay leaf - great success in your work awaits you.

6. Geographical map - this summer you will be traveling to visit relatives.

7. Pepper - be careful, you may quarrel with your friend.

8.Berry – in the summer you will have a good rest in the forest, picking up a basket full of berries.

9.Heart – someone will fall in love with you this year.

10. Thread - this year a long journey to distant lands awaits you.

11. Wheel – This year you will win a car if you buy a lottery ticket.

12. Plate - don’t be upset, happiness will definitely smile on you if you accidentally break a plate.

13. Smile – this year you will often look in the mirror and it will tell you that a smile greatly adorns you.

14.Butterfly - you will be lucky this year. You will flutter like a butterfly on the wings of success through life.

Dear our mothers,

Happy Women's Day!

We're ditties now

Let's sing for you!

Ditties.

All: Our dear mothers!

We'll sing ditties for you.

And we send you a big hello!

Oh, thank you, mom,

What did you give birth to?

Mischievous, combative -

And she called her Katyusha.

Clean it once a year

I decided to frying pan

And then four days

They couldn't wash me off!

Dad solved the problem for me,

Helped with math

We then decided with my mother

Something he couldn't decide.

To make mom surprised

We prepared lunch

For some reason our cat

She ran away from the cutlets.

I found a broom in the kitchen

And he swept the whole apartment,

But what's left of him

Three straws in total.

Vova polished the floor to a shine,

Prepared a vinaigrette.

Mom is looking for: what to do?

There is no work!

All: We stop singing ditties

And we always promise you:

Listen to you always, in everything,

Morning, evening and afternoon.

Poem "Gift for Mom" I love my momI'll give her a gift.I made the gift myselfFrom paper with paints.I'll give it to my momHugging tenderly.

Congratulations to mothers, grandmothers, girls. (children present handmade gifts)

Leading:

The game is over

The meeting ended

The hour of parting has come.

We're all a little tired

But they kept us warm

Smiles and sparkle in your eyes.

Happy upcoming first SPRING holiday, dear grandmothers, mothers and girls!

It is important to know that fortune telling is extremely contraindicated for those who, firstly, do not believe in it, secondly, those who are afraid of change, and thirdly, those who do not want to improve themselves as individuals.

What awaits you in the near future:

Find out what awaits you in the near future.

Magic, rituals and fortune telling for March 8

When, if not on International Women's Day, will fate favor all representatives of the fair sex who decide to find out their destiny? Although the holiday is not a church holiday, this does not matter much - it is celebrated very widely, which means mental nourishment from different parts of the planet is guaranteed. The magic on March 8 will certainly manifest itself, if only you want it.

March 8 rituals for girls and women

All women want to find happiness. But for some it is in the appearance of the groom, and for others it is in the establishment of already established family relationships. Hence the difference in rituals.

Rituals for unmarried girls

You can wait for your fate, standing at the window, or you can push your betrothed a little in the right direction. All rituals are carried out in the morning of March 8 or in the evening from the 7th to the 8th.

• 1. Cut off a lock of hair that is unkempt after sleep, tie it with three multi-colored threads (do not use black!), and form a small loop with one of the threads. Using this loop, hang the lock of hair above the front door from the inside on a tiny nail. Your betrothed will appear on your doorstep no later than 8 days later. Just don't miss him - who knows who he will be - a lost neighbor or a sushi delivery guy...
• 2. Under the rug that lies by the front door, draw the number 8 (also known as the infinity sign) with lipstick. Place a little salt in the center of one circle and sugar in the center of the second. Look under the rug once a day. Once the traces of lipstick, salt and sugar are completely gone, you will have a man in your life who will stay in it for a long time.
• 3. To find your betrothed outside the house, prepare a special perfume. To do this, on the evening of March 7, place a bowl of water on the windowsill. Place several fresh flowers in it (potted violets, orchids, outdoor snowdrops, any other spring or indoor flowers), 3 or 5 pieces. Don't cover it with anything. In the morning, stir the water with the flowers three times counterclockwise with your index finger, then run it along your earlobes, jawline, and touch the center of your forehead. On the evening of March 8, pour the water into a glass jar and store it in the refrigerator. Use every morning in the described way - you only need to smear specific areas of the face. Dry the flowers and leave them on the windowsill. The betrothed will be found before the water in the jar runs out.

Rituals for family happiness

Take a pot of soil and three tulip bulbs. Plant them in the ground, arranging them in a triangle shape. On a small piece of paper, write wishes for family happiness, for example:

• “Let my husband be faithful to me, love me and appreciate me”;
• “Let children grow up obedient, healthy, smart, beautiful, appreciate and love their mother”;
• “Let the relationship with your mother-in-law improve.”

Each woman will have her own wish list. As the tulip grows, your wishes will come true.

Fortune telling for March 8

All fortune telling will be in one way or another connected with family happiness, children, men who will meet on your life path in the near future.

Fortune telling for the betrothed

Any girl wants to know what her husband’s name will be. If only for the sake of looking for it in your environment and not missing out on your happiness. We offer three options for such fortune telling.

First option. On the morning of March 8th, put on a beautiful outfit, prepared in the evening. It is best if it includes several wardrobe items - a skirt, blouse, scarf, belt, fishnet socks or stockings, etc. This is needed for fortune telling; you don’t have to walk around in all this all day long. After dressing up, ask your mother or friend to carefully examine you from all sides. There should be a thread on the outfit - just stuck or pulled away from the seam. Take it in your hands (carefully cut it off if it is attached). And wrap it around your index finger.

• Each turn of the thread corresponds to a letter of the alphabet. E and E are like one letter. Whichever letter the thread ends with is the letter the betrothed's name will begin with.

Now examine the thread.

• If she is fair, the groom will be fair-haired;
• Dark - brown-haired or brunette;
• Motley - red, dyed or bleached;
• Cotton thread - the betrothed will be a simple and reliable guy;
• Made of silk or other expensive fabric - wealthy.

The thread should be placed in a pendant or attached to a wrist bracelet.

Second option. On the evening of March 7, send congratulations on March 8 to your friends. The more friends there are on the list of recipients, the better. Whichever of them will send a response message first, the name of that one begins with the same letter as the name of your betrothed. There may even be a complete overlap of names - Evgenia-Evgeniy, Victoria-Victor, Alexandra-Alexander, etc.

Third option. Take a piece of paper, cut it into pieces and write any man's name on each piece. The one you get and will be the name of your future man. You can find out the name of your future husband from pieces of paper online on our website.

The fastest and easiest fortune telling

If you don’t want to bother with threads, papers and scraps, guess online. This modern method is no worse. Our website contains all kinds of online fortune telling that can be found on the Internet.

For example, an interesting fortune telling is on multi-colored knitting threads. It will tell about upcoming events. You will need a bag or jar for threads and the threads themselves. You can use our virtual bag - just click on it and you will find out what the threads you get mean.

Or fortune telling on scraps - we have prepared everything you need for you, just choose two scraps and find out what their combination means.

Comic predictions for March 8

Our predictions are comic in nature, but can have serious consequences.

• 1. If on the morning of March 8 you tripped on your left foot, tried to grab the nearest support with your left hand and still fell on your left side, then a rich uncle will leave you an inheritance in sunny America. And it doesn’t matter that you don’t have relatives there. You can't escape fate.
• 2. If you hear the sound of broken glass from the kitchen, a stream of soapy water flows and clouds of smoke billow out while you are reading a magazine on the sofa, your family will be happy. How can you be unhappy with a man who washes the dishes for you and at the same time tries to prepare a birthday cake?
• 3. Did you see a person in a dark cap outside the window or on the balcony, and this despite the fact that you do not live on the first floor? Don't rush to grab the rolling pin. Perhaps your man has decided to order an unusual delivery of flowers and gifts. If you hit the delivery man with a well-aimed throw of a rolling pin, you will never see your bouquet.
• 4. Have you heard friendly puffing and stomping under the door since the morning? These are unlikely to be hedgehogs; they are still supposed to be hibernating on March 8th. This is your household preparing a surprise. The main thing is not to scare off. Be patient and don't go outside. And you will be rewarded with breakfast in bed and handmade gifts.
• 5. Breaking your phone on the morning of March 8 is a twofold sign. On the one hand, she definitely predicts that you will get a new phone as a gift. On the other hand, by lunchtime your friends, mother, mother-in-law, neighbor and two classmates will begin to storm your doors, who began to worry where you disappeared from WhatsApp in the midst of the holiday. Therefore, get ready for the fact that you will be washing your new phone with a large and noisy company.
• 6. Do you have multi-colored spots flashing before your eyes and feel dizzy? You are not sick. It’s just that the beloved man overdid it with the spring bouquet. He probably loves you very much. Or he ran out of clean socks, and he chose the fragrant bouquet for a reason.
• 7. If your loved one has arranged a festive dinner with champagne, drink the drink carefully - there may be a long-awaited ring at the bottom. Don’t rush to eat eclairs and cakes either - there may be a ring there too. Carefully carry out reconnaissance with a spoon so as not to delay the engagement for another couple of days (that’s how long you’ll have to wait for the swallowed ring).
• 8. If your feet itch all day, then a long-awaited trip awaits you. The main thing is to visualize it correctly in your dreams. Otherwise, you can get a trip to Magadan from your boss or an invitation from your husband to plant potatoes at the dacha.

March 8th is celebrated International Women's Day. We offer you an unusual congratulation for all women according to their Zodiac Sign - a comic horoscope in verse. Let there be less prose in life and more joy and poetry!

Aries

Aries needs to be wished

Lots of joy and happiness

Not to just hug!

Nearby is a strong man,

In the garage - a new car.

In the house - comfort, cheerful laughter

In general, all the best and have fun!

Taurus

Taurus - smile more

And never lose heart.

Don't overeat after six -

Always maintain your figure.

Fulfilled your dreams!

Twins

Gemini - two in one!

The energy is boiling and in full swing!

Congratulations Gemini,

Let love make them happy!

Good luck for any start

Cancer

Sweet, sincere and honest

Cancers - how lovely you are!

Everything is beautiful about you, you are perfection,

Being with you is simply bliss!

Let only a lucky card fall out in life

a lion

Goddess, queen, nymph -

All this is about the beautiful Leos.

So that life works out exactly in rhyme,

So that the fire burns in the eyes.

We wish you to be the Queen in everything!

Virgo

All women under the sign of Virgo

Well, not princesses - princesses!

We wish you eternal youth,

And a bright, impeccable life.

And declarations of love!

Scales

Libra - dashing Amazons

Your world is like an eternal struggle!

Inside you are always girls,

And fate will not change you!

Stay the same

And smile wider at the world!

Scorpion

Scorpios on the holiday of spring

Let's wish you more love,

So that men don't take their eyes off

And they took us to restaurants more often.

Sagittarius

More accuracy for Sagittarius,

To hit exactly on target.

In love - warmth and fidelity,

In the pocket - a tight wallet.

Capricorn

Capricorns - smiles, declarations of love,

Bouquets of flowers and warm spring,

Faithful girlfriends and good friends,

A generous husband, obedient children.

There's more excitement in life!

Aquarius

Who is smarter than everyone else in the world?

The most beautiful and sweetest of all?

Among all my friends

Well, of course, Aquarius!

I wish you all the best!

Fish

Unique smile

The curve of beautiful, delicate lips.

And with you, Goldfish

We are not afraid of the deep sea!

Congratulations on your spring day,

And we'll shower you with roses.

Happy International Women's Day to all women! We wish you good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and

07.03.2015 09:33

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